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The Crew hits the open road, and takes you along for the ride...


10.00  The Tank Gyrl Goes Home

September 6th - 11th, 2000

Travel Agent: Mom

Transportation: United Airlines (Whose new motto should be, ďWeíre never on time.Ē

Destination: Hot Rod Hoedown & Rock 'n Roll Rumble, September 10th, Philadelphia PA

It was time for a trip back home.  To visit family and friends, to meet my brand new nephew, and to go to a Sparechange sponsored event.

Day 1:  

My day started off at work.  Trying to get some last minute details finished before the trek to LAX and meet Skip back at my place.  I got out of the office a bit earlier than expected, (thankfully since I still hadnít packed) and headed back to my apartment.  Skip got there not too long later and we had lunch and headed to the airport.  I was a bit early for my plane, since of course, it was delayed.  But my day was bettered by a great celebrity sighting at the airport. 

Imagine me, your friendly neighborhood Tank Gyrl, sitting in an airport terminal.  Bored.  I read as much as I could before finally calling Lady K to kill some time.  While on the phone I see a very attractive man sitting not too far from me.  Hereís the conversation I had with K.

Me: Damn that guy is pretty.

K: Really?

Me: Yeah, about the best body Iíve seen on a guy.  Wish I could get a good look at the face.

K: (laughing)

The gentleman in question turned towards me and I got that good look Iíd been wanting.


K: What?

Me: Itís Marky Mark!!!!

K: (laughing hysterically)

Two words regarding Mr. Wahlberg come to mind.  Short.  Fine.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in case youíve ever cared to know, Mark ďMarky MarkĒ Wahlberg, minus his funky bunch, is a very attractive, very short man. I wondered to K about the infamous prosthetic penis.  Oh wait, I think I have to FINALLY get on the plane.

Day 2:

Not much to talk about really.  Had lunch with some high school friends and went over to my Dadís for coffee and my brotherís for dinner and to meet my new nephew. 

Later I met up with K at my momís house to get dressed and head down to two of my favorite DC bars, Kingpin and the 9:30 Club.  First stop was Kingpin, where we were joined by crew friends Brendan, JP, and Mike for some drinks and catching up.  Oh let the vodka flow.  If youíre in DC and you want a very intimate atmosphere where the drinks are poured generously and the bar staff is friendly, stop by Kingpin on U Street.  And tell the boys I said hi.

After quite a few drinks, K and I wandered the two blocks from Kingpin to the 9:30 Club Backbar to visit my favorite bartender in the entire world, who also happens to be a good friend.  Stopped by the car to pick up the belated birthday present for him, a beautiful embroidered silk shirt from 8 Ball.  (He loved it.)  All I can say is it felt good to be somewhere where everyone knows you.  I do miss that about DC.  Saw some friends and chatted with Dave, and finally headed out around 1 am.  K had to work the next morning. 

Day 3:

Another not very eventful day.  I spent most of it sleeping on the beanbag chair in Kís office.  But that evening was a blast.  K had just moved into a new house with two roommates and this evening was the house warming party.  We were joined for drinks and silliness that night by Eddie from the Boom Boom Cats (Go see this band!) and his girlfriend Debbie, along with some faces from the past - the remnants of the now defunct Baltimore ska band, the Smooths.  Seeing these guys was such a great surprise.  Hell, if it hadnít been for those kids and one of my not-worth-mentioning ex-boyfriends, I never would have met Lady K. 

Vodka filled watermelon was ingested and the ridiculous of this night was apparent from the beginning when at about 10pm, some random guy was found drunk and vacuuming the living room.  I ask you, who goes to a party to clean someone elseís house?  It was a blast. 

Day 4:

Morning was an unconscious state,  lunch was breakfast and it wasnít until later we left the homestead for Fellís Point where I was on a search for a real Maryland crab cake.  No one on the west cost can get these right.  I donít think that the left coast appreciates the flavor of Old Bay seasoning. 

After I acquired my crab cake and Kís tummy had been filled with yummy spiced steamed shrimp, we headed over to Fletcherís for the Johnny Cash tribute featuring the Poorbillies, the Twin Six and one lone Glenmont Pope.  We wandered back and forth between Fletcherís and the Boom Boom Catsí show at another bar a few blocks away.  Both shows were great.

Day 5:

It was the day weíve all been waiting for.  The annual Hot Rod Hoedown car show in Philadelphia, PA.  K and I headed up a bit late, though still arrived just in time.  We set up our stuff with the 440ís at their merch booth.  More hellos and hugs to give, and we were given our sheets for the car show judging.  The ladies wandered up and down the parking lot, choosing our picks for the best kustom, best backseat, best bicycle, best motorcycle and more.  The bands were great, including an outdoor set by Pittsburgh's Highway 13.  The cars were beautiful, and the boys were nice to look at. 

The car show was dominated that day by New York car club, the Rumblers, who won four trophies, including koolest kustom for Roger Miretís (yes, the same guy from legendary punk band Agnostic Front)1950 Ford, all flash no cash, for a Plymouth, if I remember correctly, and strongest showing by a club.   

Congratulations also went out to our pal Barry Davis for finally winning the biggest backseat award for is early 1953 Cadillac Fleetwood.  We put his backseat to the test during the day, stuffing as many as nine people inside last I counted. 

The show that night was a blast as well.  K and I sat by the door, taking donations for the cause (a local Philadelphia musician who had come down with Lukemia) and watching the people and bands.  The burlesque show I have to say was lacking.  There were only two girls I saw that did actual burlesque routines and the rest were simply dancing badly and showing tits and ass.  Not very impressive.  The balloon girl however was fabulous.  (A burlesque dancer covered in balloons, with a knitting needle in her handÖ you do the math.) 

The bands, I have to say as well, I wasnít that impressed with, but headliners, hosts and organizers, The 440ís were the reason that everyone was there to begin with.  It was a long day and those that stuck around for The 440ís set got the show that they were waiting for.  (Oh, yeah, and The 440ís are on the road now, so go check them out at and go see them when they get to your town.  You will not be disappointed.)

Well, it was a long hot and HUMID day (the humidity reminded of one reason why I left the east coast) and K and I were exhausted.  We had a bit of a hike home back to Baltimore, and I had to be at the airport early the next afternoon.  Iíll be back there next year.  Hope to see you all there.

--The taNk gYrl

The taNk gYrl and friend in action at Lady K's shindiggy...

The Party



Lady K & The taNk gYrl at the Johnny Cash Tribute show...

Lady K & Tank Gyrl


The taNk gYrl and the Rodney, the lone Pope...

Tank Gyrl & Rodney from the Glenmont Popes




Highway 13 rocked the parking lot at the 2nd Annual Hot Rod Hoedown in Philly, PA

Highway 13




Newlyweds Kitty & Yankee Dave from Pennsylvania made it up their fabulous kustom...

Kitty & Dave




Lisa, Philly's favorite hellbent harlot, posed for a sassy photo at the Hoedown...

Miss Lisa




The Rumblers Car Club from NYC (with Yankee Dave) rolled in with some killer cars and rolled out with all the awards!

The Rumblers








Copyright 2000 Sparechange Magazine

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